Selen Dar

Muscle-Building Workout and Diet

-I am going to tell you a story about a bodybuilder
in Rochester, New York, named Willie Murphy. A burglar broke
in to Willie’s house recently and Willie beat him up. Alright, fine. That’s what you would expect
a bodybuilder to do. But what if I told you
Willie Murphy is 82 years old? [ Cheering ]
And what if I told you Willie Murphy is a woman? [ Cheering ]
And what if I told you
this brings us to a segment called “The Kind of Story
We Need Right Now”? [ Bright theme plays ]
[ Cheering and applause ] This is Willie Murphy. [ Cheering intensifies ] [ Applause ] She was about to go
to bed one night when a man started pounding
on her front door, demanding to be let in,
so she called 911. But while she was waiting
for the police to arrive, he broke down her door
and barged in. What the man
didn’t realize, though, is that Willie Murphy works out. You’re probably thinkin’,
“Oh, that’s cute. She does water aerobics.” [ Laughter ]
[chuckling] No, son. Willie Murphy lifts weights
every day at the YMCA and she can deadlift 225 pounds. [ Cheering and applause ] 225 pounds! That’s me holding a microwave. [ Laughter and applause ] According to USA Today,
Willie can do one-handed pull-ups, one-handed push-ups, fingertip push-ups, [ Cheering ]
and the push-ups where you put your fingers
in a diamond formation and press your nose
all the way to the floor. You know what they call
those kinda push-ups? The burglar’s nightmare. [ Laughter, cheering,
and applause ] So how was she feeling as this burglar was prowling
around her house? -It’s kinda semi dark and I’m alone and I’m old. But guess what.
I’m tough. [ Cheering and applause ]
And you wanna know
what happened? He picked the wrong house
to break into. -This is the kind of story
we need right now. [ Cheering and applause ] 100%. [ Whistling ]
Most news stories make me
wanna jump off a bridge. This story makes me wanna
jump onto a bridge. Or whatever bull[bleep]
they do at Crossfit. [ Laughter ]
So, Willie — Willie’s hiding in her house and, when the burglar
comes near her, she grabs the closest thing
she can find to protect herself. A candlestick?
No. A rolling pin? No. A table. -I took that table and I went to workin’ on him. [ Laughter ]
And guess what. The table broke. [ Laughter ]
She picked up a table and “Went to work on him” [ Laughter ]
and the table broke. Most people her age
are breaking hips. She’s breaking tables! [ Cheering and applause ]
So Willie clobbers this man with a table.
What next? -I’m runnin’ in the kitchen. There’s a bottle of baby
shampoo on the table. I grab the shampoo
and guess what. He’s still on the ground. In his face, all of it. The whole thing. [ Laughter ]
-[laughing] She blinded him with shampoo. Americans spend
$11 billion a year on guns and it turns out all we needed was some Johnson & Johnson. [ Cheering and applause ] You know? You know what stops
a bad guy with a gun? Apparently, an old lady
with a table and some shampoo. [ Laughter and applause ]
So, after the shampoo, did Willie stop
and show the guy some mercy? She did not. -And I got the broom
and he’s pullin’ the broom. And I’m hittin’ him. I’m hittin’ him with the broom,
hittin’ him. -She kicked a man’s ass
with shampoo and a broom! I don’t know if she’s single, but I bet I know one guy
who’s interested. [ Laughter and applause ] So, finally, after all that, the police arrived and put
the burglar in a cop car. I’m just kidding.
He was hurt so badly, [laughing] they had to put him
in an ambulance. [ Laughter ]
-‘Cause I had really did a number on that man. [ Laughter ]
I’m serious! I think he was happy
when he went in the ambulance. [ Laughter ]
-Oh, no, I’m sure. I’m sure he was, until he told [laughing]
the paramedics what happened and they laughed so hard, they had to give
themselves oxygen. [ Laughter ]
Despite the fact that this burglar
was caught red-handed, Willie is not pressing charges. And of course not.
She’s too busy pressing [laughing] 225. -Ooh!
-Plus, she wants that man
roaming the streets so she can find him
and kick his ass again. [ Laughter ]
This is the kind of story
we need right now. In superhero stories,
women are usually insignificant side characters,
but in this story, Willie Murphy is the superhero. She saved the day
and she did it with a kind — a very kind — Christian attitude. -I said to myself,
“If it’s my time to go to hell, I’m takin’ him with me.” [ Cheering and applause ]
Merry, merry, Christmas. This has been “The Kind of Story
We Need Right Now.” ♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ]

100 thoughts on “The Kind of Story We Need Right Now: 82-year-old Bodybuilder Beat up Burglar

  1. Here's some more material for you!

  2. Look at how God gave her the strength and courage to fight back. .lol
    Won't He Do It.
    # ShoutOut To The Spiritual Realm.

  3. I worry for her because he knows where she lives and she embarrassed his punk ass! God protect this woman. She is badass! 👍🏼👏🏼💪🏼

  4. Really, what movie, now in days, are women the “Insignificant side character” as your crew so Poetically put it?

  5. Omg…I’m glad I clicked on this video. I am from Rochester NY and hearing this story had me thinking about my mother who still lives there. I pray for her safety every day. He definitely picked the wrong house to break into.

  6. Seth: what if I told you willy Murphy is 82 years old

    Audience: woah

    Seth: what if I told you Willy Murphy is a woman


  7. This reminds me of the guy years ago that was being robbed, he was sitting in his car, the guy come up with a gun and he goes what am I going to do I'm sitting down well it turns out when the guy with the gun made him get out of his car he was a multiple fighter he knew karate, Jiu-Jitsu & self-defense or whatever whipped that guy's ass somewhere out there you can see the story and the guy's black eye in his mugshot.

  8. They need to do a skit like that on Harry and the Hendersons where the guy that is hunting Bigfoot goes to jail and all the tough guys in the jail cell are running from him in a circle (hilarious) only have it be granny!

  9. That was so my great-grandmother she didn't take no crap from nobody except her great-grandson and she kept that in check to. God bless you Great

  10. “And I picked up a table and hit him with it. Then I blinded him with baby shampoo. Then I hit him with a broom….”

    (Two hours later)

    “….then I dropped the bowling ball on his face. And I poured some glued and tacks over him. Then I shoved his hand inside a beehive. Then I let out my caged bear”

  11. Hell was made for the devil and it's angels not for us. The glory belongs to God who gave her the strength, she needs Jesus!

  12. First of all, clear reason to own a firearm
    Secondly, this segment is exclusively about women who do things men do everyday

  13. That shampoo doesn’t even hurt a newborn baby’s eyes… but it’s a black female so the news need not look into “truths”

  14. Oh I wish she would have pressed charges. Just for him to have to deal with all the other inmates. Can you imagine trying to explain to people how you got owned by and 82 yr old woman hand to hand? LMAO

  15. Awesome thats why I lift weights too also beware you abusers in nursinghomes If I ever get there watch out you hurt me or others I will kick your ass

  16. Unfortunately the Burglar came back Weeks later and Slit Her Throat from Ear to Ear…Poor thing…Guess She ain’t so Strong now…

  17. Here’s a funkadelic song for Super Willie! Vote TRUMP Out and dance to “He’s Goin’ Out!”

  18. AHAHAHAHAHA ❗️❗️❗️
    If It’s HER TIME To Go To Hell
    SHE’S Taking That Man
    With HER❗️❗️❗️

    & SETH For This
    That We ALL Definitely Need
    RIGHT NOW❗️❤️❗️❤️

    Time To GET IN SHAPE
    To Start Kicking The Asses
    Of All The ‘Wayward Souls’
    In Ur Families❗️


  19. Wait so she called the police but before they got there the burglar got in? Hmmm….. seems those right wingers aren’t so wrong and dumb after all

  20. My 72-year-old hippie lady neighbor save me and my dog from a dog attack last week. She has had 15 hip surgeries and her home security camera shows her barreling out of her house and jumping into the fray. She actually pulled a pitt bull off of my dog with her bare hands. Both my dog and I were injured so she yelled at us to get to the hospital. That meant she was in the middle of the road holding a pit bull by the hind legs so that my dog and I could get away. There was a fit man there but he wouldn't even call 911. All on security camera video (including the jerky coward) She is my Huntsville Alabama Hero. How do I suggest her for this segment?

  21. “Please god willie have mercy!”

    “I’ll show you mercy but you know who won’t!?”

    *the rock runs in, stands the door back up, then proceeds to kick it down again”

    “CANN YOUUUUU SMMMEEEELLLLLL , what willie is cooking?”

  22. Grandma willie you are the best granny you have proven the with real action that age don't matter as long you have faith n in yourself you can really train yourself n kick some good ass all the way I feel sorry for intruder cause he got beat up by granny . Way to go I love you n my full respect to you you . You are blessing to this world .

  23. So what if he was breaking the law? He was just trying to make a better life for himself. This lady needs to get arrested for assault!
    (See how stupid that argument is you illegal alien supporters?)

  24. She may not press charges but with laws in this country the criminal will probably have the right to press charges against her. Good for her and hope she is great

  25. Go granny! This story gives me extra motivation to keep going with martial arts. I'm 38 now and would love to be as strong and tough as her when I hit my early 80s.

  26. That burglar was prolly 130lbs video gamer…

    An average guy could have knocked her out with both hands tied behind their back. She's lucky af

  27. "in superhero stories, women are usually insignificant side characters"

    well y'know, except for Wonder Woman, Black Widow, Captain Marvel, Gamora, Scarlet Witch, the Wasp, most of the women in Black Panther's life, the Huntress, Black Canary, Invisible Woman, Elektra, Valkyrie, Catwoman, Vixen, Zatanna, Katanna, Phoenix, Storm, Rogue, Psylocke, Shadowcat, Big Barda, Squirrel Girl…

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